Of Banks, and the Men Who Rob Them

Picture it. Normal Monday at the bank. Here comes a fellow, maybe desperate for some cash to feed his family, and informs the teller that he has a bomb strapped to his body. Well, if somebody said that to me, I would hand over the "robbery pack" without hesitation. That's the package of money ready to go with the exploding dye inside. Remembering back to the days when I worked for a loan company. We always had a big cash drawer on Friday nights and while robbery wasn't as prevalent as it is these days, there was always the possibility. Our owner told us not to be a hero. Hand over the money and don't reach for the phone until the thief is out the door. I'm sure bank tellers are told the same thing. Give it up without question.

So anyway. Here's this crook, takes the money, goes out to the parking lot and gets in his car where an argument with his girlfriend ensues. Now here's where it gets strange. Although having just robbed a bank, it does seem strange that instead of driving off, he argues with his girlfriend. But it gets stranger. The Big Bad Bank Robber goes back into the bank and returns the money. Then he gets back in the car and leaves.

The police arrested him at his home a couple of hours later.

I'm not going to ask you to guess if this story is true or false, even though I'm pretty sure you think it's a figment of my imagination. It actually happened today in Conyngham, Luzerne County, Pennsylvania. Who could make this stuff up?

I can only guess at the scenario in the car. She asked how much he got. He said, "You want to count it?" She said, "Well, it better be enough for my nose job." He calls her an ungrateful witch and takes the money back inside.

That gene pool could use a free pour of Clorox.