The Morning After

The dishes are done, kitchen cleaned up, coupons clipped and they're on their way. The shoppers, of course. Those who move out before the crack of dawn to scarf up the bargains offered by retailers across the land. They've put out the merchandise we just can't live without, especially when it's priced low, lower, lowest. (Except Wii, XBox, Nintendo DS).

The economy being what it is, the question is how many people will be up and at'em this year. More than last? Less? Homes in foreclosure everywhere. Cars being repossessed. More people than ever before moving in with relatives. But the tradition of The Morning After will surely continue.

Every Talking Head will have the obligatory on-the-scene reporter to let us know how many people camped out to get one of the forty TV sets at Target. Followed immediately by a recap of the previous evening's preparations for the onslaught. Followed immediately by a recap of the various dinners prepared and served by volunteers to the less fortunate. (Do they really have to film the less fortunate as they dine? Methinks some of the less fortunate may be too proud to attend because they don't want the whole town to know that they're "less fortunate"). But I digress.

Once, a much younger, quicker Me did the shopping thing, and vowed no more. Why, you ask? I'll tell you. Because I want to live to see Christmas. That's why.

Crazed motorists. Elbows. No carts. Snarling and cursing. Long lines at the check-out, caused by lack of cashiers. (Didn't they know it would be chaos?)

So I stay home, read the paper, drink my coffee and digest my turkey. There will certainly be more sales before the 25th. Maybe even better sales as the date approaches. Or maybe I'll just notify my family that Christmas this year will be in January so as to wait for the after-Christmas sales.

To quote Ebenezer Scrooge - well...you know.

Be Thankful

Today is thanksgiving. You know, turkey, cranberries, pumpkin pie. A lot of people are thankful because this is the one day a year they're expected to eat that stuff. They just don't like it but, by God, if it was good enough for the Pilgrims, it's good enough for me.
Me? I'm thankful if there's enough turkey left over for a late-night sandwich, on plain white w/cranberry jelly, TYVM.

Of course, I have a lot more to be thankful for this year. Last Thanksgiving, I was too damned sick to be thankful. Or even care that it was a holiday. Spent most of last year being sick. After January 1, I decided I couldn't continue. To be sick, that is. So I had the tests done that my doctor had ordered, and that very day, I ended up in the hospital. Turns out there was a good reason for being sick. I had cancer. A big-ass tumor in my colon. They took it out. The tumor AND part of the colon. They pumped blood into my vein. Four units of it. Did you know that blood, since it has to be refrigerated, is pumped in cold, and your arm feels really cold, and you start to feel really chilly and needing more blankets? It is, it does, and you do.

Anyway, tumor out, blood in, go home. And the round of medical appointments begins. First, we go to see the Oncologist, who decrees that there will be seven infusions of iron to boot up the hemoglobin, which is severely lacking. Twice a week, an hour + or - each time. There will also be eight rounds of chemotherapy lasting six months, with blood work every two weeks during that time. Also, we must see the surgeon every couple of weeks to make sure the incision is healing. (Wouldn't I know if the incision WASN'T healing?)

Also have to see my cardiologist, since I had a porcine valve installed in my aorta in 2005. He needs to be sure that the pig isn't adversely effected by the chemo.

Now even though the cancer was in my colon, leave us not forget that a mammogram is still important, so we have a doctor for that as well.

Let us not forget my PCP. No, no, no. PCP also stands for Primary Care Physician. He needs to make sure everything else is okay.

And the pills. OMG!! The pills! Used to be I'd get up in the morning, take a thyroid pill, a BP pill, a baby aspirin and a multi-vitamin. For years. That was it. Suddenly, I'm taking all kinds of stuff at all times of the day. Pills in the AM, at lunchtime, before supper, at bedtime. And if I can't sleep, in the middle of the night.

Here it is - eleven months later - and I'm able to live in my own home, take care of my own self, and even managed to perform on stage once again. (Maybe for the last time, but only because of laziness).

So, yes, I'm thankful. And I'll even eat the bloody pumpkin pie to prove it!

Gobble, gobble.