Was That This Year?

Okay, here's a rant. On many occasions, when stopped at a traffic signal, I glance at the surroundings and of late have noticed a proliferation of yard sale signs tacked/stapled/nailed/taped to trees and utility poles. In fact, I've had the dubious pleasure of watching someone put the sign on the pole. Just when I'm about to ask the sign putter-upper if he/she knows that the tree or pole to which he/she is affixing said sign is private property, the light changes and in my neighborhood, you better damn well be prepared to move the exact second the light changes. Or suffer the horn-blowing that is sure to ensue if one's foot is not immediately off-the-brake-and-on-the-gas.

Since I'm not the Private Property Police, it's probably okay that folks want to publicize the sale of tacky junque, which if they don't want it, what makes you think you do?

But it surely grinds my gears when the asshat doesn't have the good sense to come back and take the bloody sign down when the sale is over! Fact is, some of the signs have been on that tree/pole for months. Since we don't live in graffiti-ridden area, and most people are pretty respectful about littering, the yard sale signs are a singular blight on our small communities.

But I have what I consider a way to , if not eliminate these eyesores, at least decrease their numbers. I hope you'll join my crusade. It's pretty easy. So many people are "walkers" in the quest for physical fitness, slip a plastic bag in your pocket tomorrow when you leave for that constitutional. Keep your eyes open for unattractive yard sale signs littering your neighborhood. Since the miscreants have to put their address on their signs, cue ominous music: duh duh daaaaaah we know where you live. After you have collected all the signs along your route, return those suckers to their rightful owners. You can nail them on their tree; slip them under the door; mail them back; or if you're feeling particularly bold, knock on the door and hand 'em over. I suggest you only do the latter if you're sufficiently able to run fast!

Elections have a way of bringing out those odious lawn signs that pop up all over printed with Vote for Doofus thereby perpetrating another eyesore because the law that says the signs must be removed following the election isn't always enforced. I'll bet Mr. Doofus would like to have his signs back. You think so, too? Well, let's make sure Mr. Doofus gets those signs back - on his lawn. Be even better if Mr. Doofus didn't win. (Cue sound of gleeful cackling.)