SCRAPPLE

If you've never eaten it, you don't know how good it can be. Scrapple, that is. It's all the little bits of the piggy that can't be converted into ham, pork chops, roasts, bacon, etc. It's the snout and the tail and every little "scrap" in between. Mix that up with corn meal and some spices and form the mixture into a square shape in a pan. When it sets up, it can be thinly sliced, dredged in flour and fried in hot fat until golden brown and crispy. Serve it for breakfast with eggs or pancakes. It tastes good when a little of that pancake syrup drifts onto the scrapple. Or have it for supper with mashers and corn. Have it for lunch or a snack. It's just scrapple. But when it's done right, it's as good as it gets.

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So yesterday was my birthday. Seventy-six. I didn't have a cake. The Fire Marshal refused to give us a permit for the candles. Tuesday isn't the optimal day for a celebration. I spent it grocery shopping. Since I've been watching my intake so as to drop a few pounds, it takes no little effort to make sure I'm buying the good stuff. Reading labels is time-consuming. But since I'm down 15 pounds, I'll keep doing it.

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The Big Canteloupe Scare has people being irrational. Every store has a sign that advises the origin of the fruit on display. Can't imagine any market would be willing to risk selling a melon from the Colorado farm where the Listeria epidemic began. I'm not making light of this, because people have died, but we must temper our fear with logic. I'm having a canteloupe that my market assures me did NOT come from Colorado, but from Southern California.

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If you like peanut butter, you should stock up. I have it on good authority that the peanut crop suffered this year and the price will be substantially increased. And I can guarantee you that if the crop next year is amazing, the price will not be reduced. Look what happened to sugar and coffee.

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I have grown weary at last of watching TV news. The over-dramatization makes me insane. And every unfortunate story repeats evening, late evening, early morning, midday for days on end. And all this without even having all the facts. No point in watching just to catch the weather forecast, which, we all know, is seldom right. What a scam. Show up, pontificate about the isobars and the Canadian highs and the Gulf Stream and low pressure systems. If you're wrong, well, at least it sounds as if you know what you're talking about. And you never get fired. You just get to be wrong every day and they pay you for it.

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In re: our recent extended low pressure system, it has been very hard on the joints. The Ritis boys are a bad lot, and Arthur is the worst one. My thumbs and my right knee are suffering and I've taken more ibuprofen than ever. It should be improving any minute now that the sun has made its annual appearance. Wish me luck.

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So there you have Scrapple. It tastes good with any meal. Some like it with catsup and some with pancake syrup. Straight up is good, too.