The Hostess With the Mostess...

I have a confession.  Don't be shocked.  Here goes - I have never eaten a Twinkie.  Never, ever, in my entire life.  Being a Philadelphia-born citizen, my lunch cake of choice was Tastykake.   And I'm old enough to remember when they cost a nickel!  There were three-packs of chocolate cupcakes iced with chocolate frosting.  There were Chocolate Juniors - an oblong of two-layer yellow spongecake frosted with a milky chocolate frosting; and Coconut Juniors - the same oblong except frosted with a white icing topped with coconut.  Jelly Krimpets - a three-pack of yellow sponge with jelly in the center of each cake.  There were pies: apple, lemon and maybe a couple of others.  But my all-time fave was the Butterscotch Krimpet.  Once again, a three-pack of the yellow sponge frosted with somebody's idea of butterscotch frosting.  I loved 'em.  Later on, the price increased; the sizes of the cakes decreased; and some new flavors were added to the repertoire, namely, Tandytakes.  Yes, that's what I said. Tandytakes.  They were small single-layer circles of yellow sponge, some with peanut butter and milk chocolate frosting and some with a creamy white layer coated with dark chocolate.  After a time, wiser heads prevailed and the name was changed from the baby-talky Tandytake to KandyKake.   And along with a more adult name came a more adult price.  Talk about inflation.  While unable to afford the treats as often as I'd have liked, partly because of the price and partly because of the added avoirdupois, I still remained loyal to Tastykake.  After all, "Nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a Tastykake", or so the old jingle said.

Once, I remember eating a Devil Dog, which was so dry I nearly choked to death.  BUT, I never ate a Twinkie.  The only Hostess cake I ever ate was the Snowball.  Chocolate cake mounded around an unidentifiable crème filling and covered with white coconut frosting.  A long time ago, it was.   And then, Hostess closed up shop and the world seemed to have a period of grief over the loss of the beloved Twinkie.  Eulogies were delivered bemoaning the passing of a lunch-box icon.

And then, and then, some enterprise bought the bakery.  The name was revived and the Twinkie was once again on shelves in stores everywhere.  And still, I never ate a Twinkie.

But in the local dollar parlor, I happened upon a small display of Snowballs.  Two to a package, same as of yore.  Emblazoned with the words "The sweetest comeback in the history of Ever!"  Even though I've been limiting my intake of most sugars and carbs and calorie-laden "stuff", I decided I had to try once again that long-forgotten treat.  And what was a buck?  I ate one and put the other away in the cupboard, only to discover it a week later.  The original wrapper was torn from the first foray into the package but the remaining Snowball wasn't stale.  Not even a little.  So I ate it.  And on careful examination, I discovered that the package was missing something.  What was missing was a "Best by -" date.  I suppose it's safe to assume that there is no date beyond which the Snowball will no longer be edible.

With that being said, I have had a Twinkie in my cupboard for almost 14 years, given to me by a person who felt sad that I had never, ever tasted this delight.  It's somewhere behind the bag of rice and the Karo syrup.  Do you think it's safe to eat?  Or should I just toss it and keep my record intact?

It's Working...

Remember when I told you I was going to try to be a loser?  Of course you do - it was only six weeks ago.  In any case, it does seem to be happening.

On June 17, when I began obeying the command of my P.T., I stopped eating my every-morning bagel with cream cheese.  Now this is not just an ordinary bagel.  No, sir.  This is a B-I-G bagel and the cream cheese is applied liberally.  Liberally, I tell you.  And this was my morning routine every single day.  I bought bagels at a local supermarket and when they were "buy 6, get 6 free", I brought them home, sliced them and put them in a freezer bag.  Each morning, I would take a bagel out of the freezer and by the time I had finished my first cup of coffee, the bagel was thawed and I put it in the toaster oven to warm.  Lots of cream cheese and my second cuppa and life was a joy.  But, nay, nay to the carb-loaded goodness.

Second thing I gave up was Pepsi Max.  Now this is a diet Pepsi without the bitter aftertaste of most diet drinks.  But I quit it and substituted with water and decaf Iced Tea.

I'm eating lots of grains and fruit and chicken.  White bread is a uh-uh.  I eat a Wegman's loaf of Ancient Grains with cranberries.  Very nice.

We were on vaca last week and my P.T. told me that I could have a bagel or two since this was a vacation.  MOF, he actually went and bought fresh bagels and cr.ch.  I indulged, but it wasn't the same.  Nothing especial.  Not even a treat.  Nor was the ice cream cone I had on a boardwalk night.

I'm thinking that my previous cravings are leaving my brain - after all, eight weeks makes a habit, right?  Am I right?  Okay, except for Herr's Honey Barbecue Potato Chips.  That one's taking a little longer to break.

The upshot of this is that despite having an intractable Plantar Fasciitis (two injections; ice packs; stretching exercises; rolling a ball with my foot, haven't worked) that has severely limited my ability to walk for exercise, I have managed to lose nine pounds in seven and a half weeks.  If I can find someone who can fix this foot without surgery, I'll be moving well enough to take off another nine in even less time. 

Even with a bag of chips in my hand.